On Having Structure

God wants us to be flexible, doesn't he? I mean, we're supposed to be like those fishermen who just got up and left everything to follow Jesus. If God calls us to go in an opposite direction than we're going, then we're supposed to just be able to drop it and go, right?

But then why all the order in the world?

I admit, I'm a math major and I love the way that in math everything just fits together nicely and the problem always works out in the end (even if you need a calculator somewhere along the line). Then, if you doubt the answer, you can just go backwards and check it against the original problem. If it all comes out alright, you can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you got it right.

Why can't life be like that?

Nothing ever changes. There's a set of steps that are always the same for every variation of a particular problem. As long as you follow those steps to the letter, you know that it'll turn out right.

But instead we're given one step for everything: trust God.

Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

But what do I do? I want to do something. Other than just trust.

I mean, sure I can be flexible, as long as I'm following some sort of laid out plan that I know how it goes all the way along. None of this just knowing how it turns out in the end. I want to know the steps that will get me there and what exactly my job is from here on in so I can focus on getting that done.

But, I'm in the Lord's army, and as a soldier I find stuff out on a need-to-know basis and I must be content with that.

And at the end, I'll be able to trace it all back to the beginning and see that it comes out alright, so the steps must have been correct, even when I didn't know what I was doing.

I don't know that I can handle it.