Things I've Learned

OK, so it's been a while since I updated this thing. Sorry about that.

I've been back from Serbia for about two weeks now, and some of the things I learned there have started to sink in a bit. I've found myself hearing something on the news and thinking to myself that that would never happen in Serbia. I've found myself sitting in church and suddenly noticing that everything's in english. I've found myself wishing that I could suddenly change plans and do something completely different than what I've arranged (as happens frequently in Serbia). But every time, I've learned to accept that life in North America will never be quite like it was in Serbia. With that said, there are a few things I learned about life and about myself that I would like to transfer to the way I live in Canada.
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1. People are more important than time or things.

One day we had arranged to meet with a few students 'at the horse' in the centre of Belgrade. These students were going to take us for a combined tour/shopping trip. We were going to meet at 2pm. As we were eating lunch, Samuil decided that we weren't going to get there on time. So, he text messaged our tour guides that we wouldn't get there until 3pm. We got there at about 3:15, and our tour guides met us at 3:45. As a result, our tour/shopping trip ended up being much shorter than expected, but we still had a good time.

In Serbia, it's customary to finish a conversation with one person before moving on to the next... even if it means you'll be late. They told us there are only two things in Serbia for which you shouldn't be late: airplanes and movies. Now, I don't plan on making a habit of being late for things. But there may be times when I feel it's more important for me to finish a discussion than to be on time for something else.

As a result, please don't take it as an insult if I'm late for something. It just means that I was previously involved in something that turned out to take more time than expected. That being said, if I have responsibilities in the place to which I'm going, I'll do my best to get there early. I don't wish to be irresponsible, just flexible.

2. Forgive and move on.

One evening I went our for coffee with Jonny (Canadian) and Slobodan (Serb). We talked about a number of things and eventually our discussion turned to the 1999 bombing. I asked Slobodan if Serbs still hold anger toward NATO for the attack. His response surprised me. He said that when Serbs look back at 1999, they see a great misunderstanding between the west and the Serbs. He claims that NATO misunderstood what Serbia wanted while Serbia also misunderstood what England and the US wanted. He says that many Serbs wish things could have turned out differently, but they can't change what has already happened. So they move on.

In North American culture, we have a tendency to hold on to the things that have been done wrong to us. 1999 was just two years before 2001, and the US is far from moving on from the events of 9/11. Anyone with problems in their lives will likely tell you its because of something that happened to them as children, or at the very least, something that someone else did to them. No one wants to take responsibility.

I want my attitude to change so that I don't feel that anyone owes me anything. I'm no more free of circumstance than anyone else. And if bad things happen, perhaps I should look inward before blaming someone else. At the very least, such an action would provide time to look at things after they have cooled down a bit.

3. Know people more rather than just knowing more people.

Finally, I noticed that Serbs are very willing to share their lives with each other. They have no problem telling each other where they are struggling and everyone works together to support each other and to build each other up. In my five years of university, I have met a lot of people. But I don't go much further than that. There are really only 2 or 3 people that I know really well. I've had lots of fun hanging out and meeting new people, but I think it's time for me to focus on getting to know people instead of just getting to know people's names.

I don't want to stop meeting new people. But I want to achieve some kind of balance that will allow me to get close to people to the extent that we can really support each other and know the things with which each other is dealing. This is going to take a lot of effort on my part, because I don't really feel comfortable getting personal with people, but I saw the benefits of doing so in Serbia, and I'd like to transfer that experience into my life here in Canada.
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So, overall, it was a great trip to Serbia. Thanks to everyone who supported me and prayed for me. God has blessed me and I hope I can reflect that blessing onto the people I meet.