On Dating

*Disclaimer* - the ideas presented herein are based solely on theoretical thought and not at all on practical experience.

Ah, the modern ritual of meeting someone you like, going to movies to watch actors do a much better job of what you're trying to do, and probably not living happily ever after. You probably mix it up a little with dinners, walks, and other things that can be done together. But what's the point? Just to have some fun?

I certainly hope not. I mean, having fun helps, no doubt, but that shouldn't be the sole purpose of dating. If we just wanted to have fun, we could do that with large groups at just about any time... the people don't even necessarily have to be friends to have fun.

No, dating, in my opinion, should only happen with the purpose of working toward someday, perhaps, getting married. Otherwise, what's the point?

Again, not saying that the first person you date has to be the one you marry. Most definitely not. If it does happen that way, good for you, but by no means should there be that kind of pressure. No, what I'm saying is that dating should only happen if there is, on both sides, at least a faint hope that the relationship will end in marriage. Here's what I see as the progression of events:

1. Two people (for my purposes, they should be of opposite sex, but I realize that some probably disagree with me on that) mutually agree that marriage could be a future (even *hopefully* distant future) possibility for them.

2. They spend the next variable amount of time learning about each other... finding out the beliefs, tendencies, dreams, etc. of the other person.

3. Throughout that variable amount of time, they continue to evaluate whether or not marriage is still a future possibility.

4. If, at any point, the two people realize that there is something that would keep them from getting married (something that is not fickle and that could change after a week or so), they should be completely honest and tactful about it, in every attempt to save the friendship that was before/developed during the dating.

5. If that point never occurs and there comes a point at which there are more pros to getting married than cons, the process has been successful and the couple would, traditionally, get engaged (at which point they endeavour to know even more about each other).

Exactly what activites constitute the period of dating is as variable as the time period used for it. Hopefully the couple can quickly find some activities they both enjoy, but I should think there would be much better ways to spend time together than going to movies... I mean, you can't even talk in there.

Now, all this begs the question: Then how do I determine whether or not marriage is a possibility? That depends on what you see as the purpose for marriage, which will have to wait for another day.

Again, this comes from a purely theoretical standpoint, and has not been tested in any practical sense by yours truly, so if it doesn't work, I suppose I may find out eventually.